Patrick’s Story

In Romans 1:18-31,the apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, writes this: “The wrath of GOD is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what is known about GOD is plain to them, because GOD has made it plain to them ……for although they knew GOD, they neither glorified Him as GOD nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools…therefore GOD gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another …..He gave them over to shameful lusts …..men also abandoned natural relations with women …were inflamed with lust for one another …committed indecent acts with other men…they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of GOD, He gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity …are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossipers, slanderers, GOD-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful…are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know GOD’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. “

Today, as I reflect upon these verses, I praise God that I am a sinner saved by grace. God’s word is sharper than a two-edged sword, and reveals the utter depravity of my condition before Him. I was a dead-man walking until May 31,2006, when I called upon the name of Jesus, gloriously broken, asking Him to be my Savior. I thank God that He loved me enough to send His Son, Jesus, who lived a sinless life, obedient to the point of death, was nailed to a cross, burdened with my sin and shame, and died a death that I so rightfully deserve, raising Him on the third day so that all who believe in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

I was born in Whiteville, NC on March 12, 1971. I was named Swift Ernest in honor of my maternal grandfather. I am the oldest of 3 children, with a sister, Lucinda, and a brother, Eric. My parents, Floyd and Sue, raised me in a Christian home, “training me up in the way.” I grew up believing in God, although the God I thought I knew then is nothing compared to the God I have come to know. We were church-goers, although our ‘church’ didn’t necessarily teach anything about God, rather we were taught to obey a certain elder who had everyone convinced that she was the way to the Lord, and unless we did as she commanded, we would go to hell. We stopped attending church when I was 12, and it would be many years before I entered another.

I left home when I was 18 and moved to Wilmington. Thus began a long journey into a sinful life of sexual immorality, alcohol and drug use, and running from the Lord. As I said, I’ve always believed in God, but I saw Him as an imperious One who had a list of rules that I had to follow, and I simply wanted to live my life my way. I figured I had plenty of time to do what I wanted to do, before having to do what He wanted me to do. I entered into a homosexual lifestyle, having several relationships before ‘settling down’ with a man whom I thought would be my life-partner.

In the spring of 1998, the Lord began to deal with me. He visited me in a dream, which I can remember as if I dreamt it last night. Later that fall, following surgery to remove a cancerous testicle, I was admitted to the hospital where I learned that I had AIDS, and almost died. This hospital stay had been revealed to me in the dream I mentioned earlier. I recall that stay so vividly. I was scared to death, aware that if I died, I would die without knowing Christ, and would spend eternity separated from him in a place called Hell. I confessed to my mom, who was there with me, that I knew I had not lived a life that was pleasing to God, and I was ashamed, and I was even more ashamed that I didn’t feel that I knew how to pray to ask forgiveness. She and I prayed the Lord’s prayer together; neither of us knew exactly how or what we should pray, we just knew that God would hear, and that He knew our hearts. I know that she continued her prayers through the evening. In the early morning, praise God, my fever broke. I was given the privilege of awakening to another day and a second chance.

I look back on that night and I am so thankful that He was there with me and saw fit to preserve my life. “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” (Exodus 33:19) I do believe that night was the point of my salvation. However, when I was released to return home, I chose to continue living with the gentleman with whom I shared a home, despite being encouraged by my Mom to move back to Whiteville. I could handle it, so I thought. True repentance is to tum away from one’s sin, and not look back. As good as my intentions were, I found myself entrapped once more in a rebellious lifestyle that involved homosexuality, drug-use, perversion, and every kind of wickedness.

For the next eight years I continued to do things my way, and despite all that the Lord allowed me to experience to get my attention, I continued to run. My life became a blur. Relationships failed, parties never satisfied, drugs never full-filled, nothing could fill up the hole I had in my heart …yet I couldn’t put my finger on what it was that I was supposed to be doing…nor finding whatever it was that I knew would take away the awful sadness and loneliness that I felt. The Lord dealt with me again in the spring of 2006, and I was at that point gloriously broken, so ready for the change I knew I needed to make,and having a keen understanding of what was required of me in order for that change to transpire.

The Lord had sent several godly Christians into my life for the purpose of praying for me, encouraging me, loving me: shattering the image I had of such people. I had been attending services at Stony Hill Baptist Church, and had spoken with Pastor Jamie Dew on several occasions about salvation. On May 31,2006, I was awakened by such a conviction that I needed to get saved. Pastor Jamie and I met at the food court at Triangle Town Center Mall ….and over lunch we discussed what needed to happen …. and if I was ready. I was. I received Christ as my Savior that day, and my life has never been the same. Praise God!

After surrendering my life to Christ, I have to admit that my walk with Him was, in the beginning, far more challenging than I anticipated. I know that those who are in Christ are new creations, the old has gone, the new has come. (2 Cor. 5:17) I honestly expected that to be an immediate change. In the first year, I continued to struggle with my past lifestyle. I had ‘friends’ who tried to convince me that it was OK to be gay, that God changes, and I could be who I was and still serve Him. I still faced, and succumbed to the temptation of drugs and alcohol.

He has carried me through some difficult times and He has placed godly men and women in my path to encourage me, pray with and for me, and hold me accountable, reminding me that “no temptation had seized me except what is common to man, and God is faithful: He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. And when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (I Cor. 10:13) I was also prompted through His word to “not conform to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind”, (Rom. 12:2) , and in Colossians 2:8 He urged me to “see to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ“, and that if I am to follow after Him, I must” take up my cross” DAILY, (Matthew 16:24) and “stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.” (Exodus 14:13) My walk with Him is still challenging, but I am learning how to follow Him, instead of trying to lead the way myself.

I can say with all confidence that I now have the peace that surpasses all understanding, which I now know was what I had been searching for my whole life. He has done great things in my life, and I am confident that He will continue to work in me. I have this assurance because He continues to reveal Himself to me through His word, which cannot lie; also in the blessings that He allows to come my way. I am living proof to the power of God through salvation.

I am as healthy today as I’ve ever been, in spite of living with HIV. The virus has remained undetectable for 6 years now. Proverbs 18:22 says that “whoever finds a good wife finds what is good and receives blessing from the Lord.” I have been blessed immeasurably more than I could have ever hoped for myself with a wife who has allowed Him to work in her as we grow together in Him. He has further blessed me with the responsibility as a dad to two wonderful step-sons, Daniel and Erik, a daughter-in-law Tori, and the privilege and honor or being called ‘Pops’ by two delightful grandchildren, Luke and Ashlyn. He has been faithful in His promise to me in Jeremiah 29:11 in that “He has a plan for me, plans for prosperity and not evil, to give me hope and a future.”

I am excited with what He has done thus far, I eagerly anticipate all that He has in store for me, and I look forward to eternity with Him. And when the storm clouds arise, I cling to my favorite verses: Isaiah 40:28-31 – ” Have you not known, have you not heard, the Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint“, “for I have told you these things so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Amen.

I close with this: “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, because it is the power of God to salvation of everyone who believes,” (Rom. 1:16) “therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for through Christ Jesus the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” (Rom. 8: 1-2)

If you would like to contact me, feel free to do so at p.pridgen@me.com